I miss her

It has been six months after that terrible incident happened to us.I lost my best friend Asha or I should say my only friend Asha. Though I have Kaira with me Asha was the thread connecting us. Every morning was a fun with her. She used to wake up everyone in the hostel with her weird singing. She made everyone’s birthday parties a mind blowing one. She never let anyone feel alone including me. Whenever I feel humiliated ,under rated she was the one who cheered me up raised my self confidence.
“Goooood morning!!!! Friends it’s time to wake up, make up ,show up”, “This is Asha’s voice where it is coming from?”, I wore my spectacles and ran to kaira.
“Did you hear that?”,kaira said looking at me.
We both ran downstairs. I can’t understand what is happening here? Is this my asha’s voice? Is she alive? I ran as fast as I could through corridors of our hostel. Everyone in the hostel came running to the ground floor. Kaira looked down through the wall. But lot of girls were standing down. When we reached downstairs my eyes couldn’t believe me I saw her my friend Asha she is standing facing backwards. Kaira fell on the stairs looking at the scenario.
“Kaira kaira”,Is she our Asha? I shook her.
She can’t even utter a word. Tears started to flow down her cheeks.
I gained some courage and walked up to her and touched her shoulder.
“Hey Anjana it’s me Ishani I am not Asha”,Ishani said wearing the dress and hair style exactly like Asha.
I wanted to slap her. But my courage didn’t reach up my hand.
“Aren’t you ashamed?”,Kaira asked Ishani.
“Excuse me why should I ?”,Ishani asked Kaira.
“Stop playing with others feelings Ishani it is not your father’s mansion. It is a college hostel. Behave properly. You don’t respect lecturers at least respect dead people”,Kaira fierced in anger.
I got hold of kaira’s hand.
“Let’s go kaira”,I dragged kaira from there.
It is not new to us it is third time Ishani disguised as Asha and making fun of Asha.
Every time she gets dressed as Asha and imitate her how she used to do everything. It had become fun show for most of the girls. But some of our feelings get hurt. Especially me and Kaira.
May be I should say Asha’s death brought us together. Every time Ishani does something we expect more and get hurt more than that day.
Ishani, a millionaire’s daughter. She doesn’t even stay in hostel. She gets in hostel when needed gets out when needed. A short word to describe her ‘ a spoiled brat’. She never leave any chance to make others feel low.

But one thing from Ishani’s acts is clearly visible we miss Asha too much.
It was time 2:00 pm. When our classes got over.
Kaira asked me to accompany her to library to study.
Our studying be like Asha will take the notes, I will search books, Kaira will checkout boys.
But now a days Kaira has become serious on her studies she lost the charm she had in her when Asha was there. Any problem happens we run to Asha for solution now a days we started to run to escape from problems.
I remember it was our fresher’s party as coming from poor family I have nothing good to wear Asha helped me with her beautiful dress which is actually her favourite dress. She never regretted for helping me out.
She used to help me financially for my father’s health sacrificing her needs. She was generous to me more than needed.
I am shattered when I heard the death news of Asha. While I am trying to join me again my father’s health problems break me everyday.
I was sitting in the library reading books but actually I am just turning the pages all in my mind I am thinking is how I lost her.
Once I lost her I lost everything.
People say that she committed suicide but people doesn’t know how brave she was. She was a warrior. I won’t believe that she can commit suicide.
Tears dwelled from my eyes I know sitting in library trying to study not going to help me. I woke up from the chair.

“What happen?”,Kaira asked me.
“It is not working Kaira. I am leaving to hostel”,I said and grabbed my books.
I know Kaira is also got hurt the same way I am hurt. I know she is also having her inner fight. She is getting worst nightmares. She holds herself responsible for Asha’s death what worse can happen to a person in the world?
How harder I try to stay away from Asha’s memories I still go into there. We changed our room but she lives in our hearts.
I went to our room and tried to get some sleep.
It was 6:00 pm when Kaira woke me up.
“Are you okay”,Kaira asked checking my pulse.
“I am fine I am just tired. Have you heard about suicide note?”,I said wearing my spectacles.
“Yes”,Kaira said sat in front of me.
“Even reports says that she injected cyanide and even above it they confirmed her fingerprints in that injection which confirms she committed suicide”,I said looking down.
“She is not coward to inject cyanide and kill her”,I added.
“Every evidences points in the same direction that she committed suicide but not in my dreams I am ready to accept it”,I said looking at Asha’s photo.
May be our love towards her hides the truth from us “,Kaira said taking her bag.
“Here have it”, She gave me money.
“No I don’t need”, I said smiling at her.
“I know about you Anjana. You need this I already lost one friend I can’t lose another one too”,she said looking into my eyes.
She meant it. I got it from her.
“When you are going to pay the fees say me I can accompanying you”,she said holding my hands.
Kaira and Asha are not such silly friends who just gossip on college girls they are true gems of my life they have helped me when I am financially low to pay fee.
May be Kaira is right my love for her stopping me from accepting the truth.
Asha helped me to overcome all the hesitation I had. She taught me to be with self confident and self respect.
Now I became the person she wanted to be but she is not around me to watch it.
I cried looking at Asha’s photo in my phone. Kaira hugged me and tried to console me.
At the end of the day only one thing we understood We miss her a lot.

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